Ah, dating. Where do I even begin?
There are many debatable do’s and don’ts when it comes to the modern dating culture, so there’s a lot of things that some people may tolerate that others wouldn’t. However, I am writing this now as a female, living in the 21st century, about this one big don’t.
Boys, you may want to start taking notes.
- Proving You’re Rich Doesn’t Really Guarantee A Second Date –Or A First
Money certainly cannot buy you everything, and that includes a second date. Now before I start ranting and get written off as a lonely and bitter single woman; I would just like to begin with some statistics and proven facts. The MalayMail wrote an article in 2015 about dating culture norms in Malaysia, and below is one of the survey findings.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen take a good look; wealth/lack there of plays little to no effect in tainting someone’s image in regards to dating. Personally I’ve been in the dating scene for a while, and never once has my perception of someone changed solely based on how much money he possesses. But don’t get me wrong, when they insist on getting the bill, or buy me flowers or gifts –although completely unnecessary, is appreciated. It’s more the thought that goes behind it, not how much it cost.
- Social Media Will Be Your Downfall
The rules to dating are slowly bending with the rise of popular apps like Tinder, OKCupid, Grindr and Match.com. The obvious goal these apps try to sell to you is that you get an opportunity to find love at the tip of your fingers. If by chance you share a similar goal, how you depict yourself online is crucial. Here are a few examples of exactly how you shouldn’t describe yourself.
No. Just so much no.
With the frequent use of screenshots –do you really want to be ‘that guy who’s paying girls to date him’. (Again, the answer is no.) Take a good selfie, and write a funny one-liner, you will attract the better lot of people.
- Attracting The Wrong Kind Of People
Everyone tends to put their best foot forward when it comes to dating, especially since you want them to like you for you. If you have lots of money, that’s great. If you want to splurge a little to make a good impression, also great. However, what you shouldn’t do is rely solely on your money to win a girl’s heart because it’s not you she will end up falling for –it’s that MasterCard in your wallet. The lines will blur after a while as you may have a hard time differentiating what she actually likes about you as her expectations of dinner dates, presents and gifts all increase rapidly.
- Breaking Gender Stereotypes
Yes, I’m going there. Although I won’t deny it feels nice when someone offers to get the bill, I just end up feeling really helpless when it becomes accustomed for the guy to pay for everything. We live in a modern era where women are allowed to be independent, strong and financially stable. When societal rules like ‘the guy always has to pay for dates’ become customary, it’s a step back towards women fighting for equal rights.
- Don’t Go Broke Trying To Impress
Undoubtedly, when a guy carries himself well, dresses well, and is financially stable enough to pay for what he orders; it’s attractive. Nonetheless, if you don’t have the monetary means to go on dates and pay for what is expected, don’t. I know so many people who go out of their way to prove that they’re loaded even though they really aren’t and can’t afford it. Honey, if you want to show you can take care of a girl you have to at least be able to take care of yourself first.
- My Personal Experience
Let my personal tragedy be a cautionary tale for anyone who thinks showing off how much money you have on a date is the right way to go. Late last year I agreed to go on a date with this actor guy I met on Tinder. He picked out a fancy restaurant, we made small talk and he coolly told me stories about his profession. As he was talking, (which he did a lot of) I noticed that in every story he explained he was always trying to underline it with how much money it cost, or about all the expensive things he owned.
Throughout the date I found out how much he got offered at a job, how much he’s earning now, how many properties he owns, where and what time his European holiday will take place, and how much he has donated to charity.
By the end of dinner, I was completely disinterested to him on all levels and I just wanted to leave. So I suppose the moral of the story is, don’t brag about money on a date. It comes off as needy, desperate, and that you might be compensating for something else not as big as your bank account –if you know what I mean.
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